Shark Bait Hooks Another Loser

Illawarra Mercury

Thursday February 19, 2004

with GLEN HUMPHRIES

Survivor All-Stars: Shark Attack

WIN, 7.30pm

This is the concept that started the reality TV trend. Just think of all the horrible TV from which we would have been spared if that first series of Survivor had rated poorly.

But, alas, it didn't. In fact, it was so successful the producers have brought back previous winners (pictured at right) to put them through their paces all over again.

Tonight, Richard proves he is easily the stupidest person on the show. Not because he now insists on walking around naked - though that is undoubtedly irritating for the other contestants and the viewers.

No, here Captain Nudie goes fishing and tries to catch a shark. He nabs one, but anyone with even a single brain cell could tell you what happens - it bites him.

What does Richard do? He bites the shark back. What an idiot.

Average Joe

Prime, 8.30pm

There's a big surprise in store for the average Joes (pictured far right) tonight.

And it involves a twist that essentially negates the whole concept of the show.

That's all I'm going to say, because I don't want to wreck it for everyone. Some people might have already figured it out - they actually alluded to it in the first episode.

Before the big twist, the geeks go to a water park with Melana. Then they get to do battle with each other to win a one-on-one date with her.

The highlight is Tarek and Adam's golfing tussle. Freakboy Tarek has more than one dummy spit because he can't play golf.

No surprises who wins the date out of those two.

Law & Order: SVU

SC Ten, 8.30pm

There are two hours of Law & Order tonight. Clearly there is something about this series that I'm missing.

To me, it combines all the boring aspects of police crime shows and legal dramas without any of the interesting bits.

Extreme Makeover

WIN, 9.30pm

You know what I'd really like to watch? A show where we get to see where the makeover recipients are a year later.

Did having all that plastic surgery really make their life so much happier? Did everyone suddenly like them a lot more just because they had a nose job?

Or were their problems a bit more deep-seated than something that could be solved with a scalpel?

I'm guessing it's the latter.